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Priest jokes

Collection of maybe the funnies Priest jokes in internet.


Once in a quizshow. There were an Australian and a priest competing against each other. Their scores were equal. so they had to create a verse about ‘Timbuktu’.
The priest began:

‘I was a father. all my life.
had no children. had no wife.
I read the Bible. through and through.
On my way to Timbuktu.’

Then the Australian told his version:
‘When Tim and I to Brisbane went.
we met three ladies cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two.
so I booked one and Tim booked two!’

Forgive me father for i have sinned

“go on” says the priest. “I swore the other day” says the man. “continue” says the priest. “I was on the golf course the other day and i hit my drive, it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway”. “and this is when you swore?” asked the priest. “No father, my ball then ricocheted of the power lines and flew off into the deep rough” continued the man. “this must have been when you swore?” the priest exclaimed. “No father, not yet. As i was walking over to the rough to hit my second shot a hawk flew down from the trees, picked my ball up in his beak and proceeded to fly off with it” continued the man. “Ahhh I see” says the priest “this must have been the point where you swore” “Nope not yet, as the bird flew over the green the ball fell from its mouth and landed two feet from the hole” The priest pauses for a few seconds “you missed the fucking putt didn’t you?”

Two priests are out driving one day

Two priests are out driving one day when they get pulled over by a police officer.

The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver “Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters”

The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says;

“Alright officer, we’ll do it”